Last post of 2011
Wow, 2011 what a ride! Last time this year I was a mess living in Harlem, and I honestly had no idea what my life would look like a year from then. I knew I needed a change, but I didn’t expect this BIG of a change. Guess I got what I was looking for. As far as outward accomplishments I can’t say that I have a lot to show for, but I think it’s been the internal struggles that I have faced this past year that are shaping me into the person I am and want to be. Through life’s challenges in the past year I am learning to become more compassionate, more forgiving, and more accepting. Through moving to Spain I am learning to slow down, enjoy life, I am learning to breathe and enjoy the ride. There are so many things I am learning about the culture, about the way of life here that I am adapting to the way I want to live my life from now on. It is allowing me to be more gentle, and not so abrasive. The people here are so kind, warm, welcoming, and loving, and it’s implanting a seed of compassion and kindness that I am grateful for and will carry with me moving forward into the new year. If you know me, I can be a bit aggressive, it’s just the way we Irish families can be, so getting a taste of the culture of Spain is a blessing to my somewhat abrasive nature. I’m discovering that it has been my struggles this past year that have led me to Spain, to travel, to make a change for the better, and to discover how other people live life, and love. Moving to Spain has put me in position for the inspiration that I was yearning for, in order for the songs to manifest themselves through my existence. I live, they come, and I am allowing my self to let go, and enjoy the ride. There are new perspectives that I really want to put into practice in my life, one of them is letting go. Letting go of my fear of the future, and letting go of my past through forgiveness. Being present in today is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I am honestly struggling with giving today all the love, intensity and courage that I can muster. It’s a challenge that I face everyday with teaching at the school, but it’s very rewarding. When I do my best, I feel good, inside and out. Although I share a lot of my self, through my music, and this blog, I feel like I simply must share with people the nature of my struggles, the beauty of my accomplishments, and share with people the feelings that I experience on a day-to-day basis, in hopes that maybe it will have a positive effect on someone in the world. To me opening my self up to the world comes with a cost, but the rewards of inspiring even one individual far outweighs the judgements from any haters. 2012, the travels will continue, and I’m starting it off right with New Years in Paris with my best friend! I do not know exactly what the future holds, but I have set goals for this upcoming year, and I hope to share my accomplishments with my loved ones when they materialize!
Can’t wait, but I will be enjoying everyday as it comes my way!